Experiencing emergency services as a PhD student during the pandemic: an autoethnography of a holistic breakdown

Abstract

This paper explores my first hand experience of illness during the first weeks of the pandemic, as a PhD student. Through an auto ethnographic lens, I narrate events which occurred during the month of March 2020. My memories, and their interpretation, continued to transform in the subsequent months, coinciding with the analysis of an earlier set of participants data and writing of the thesis. This paper draws upon such experiences to raise methodological and existential questions in relation to design research and healthcare. The short paper is structured in two parts; the first describes a few memory fragments to help the reader connect with that initial experience, whilst the second discusses the methodological and existential implications alongside a personal reflection, as an invitation for further dialogue within our research community.

Keywords:

• Mental health
• covid-19
• emergency medicine
• autoethnography
• trauma

Acknowledgements

I am wholeheartedly thankful for all healthcare workers, family members and friends who cared for me. Whilst I write about how some words or actions may have hurt, I do it from a place of empathy and appreciation, with full awareness of the unprecedented circumstances and recognizing that we are all part of a system. I would like to thank to all health workers worldwide, for their courage and dedication. Many lost their lives saving ours.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Notes

1 I have added the probable name of the prescribed medication, which is based on my recollection but not confirmed since I could not access the medical files from abroad.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Erika Renedo Illarregi

Dr Erika Renedo-Illarregi is a researcher in co-design and mental health, interested in exploring how and why participants are impacted while designing. She is currently working on shared decision making within medicine.