Frictions between familism and neoliberalism: exploring the intergenerational ambivalence narratives of migrant older parents in China

ABSTRACT

This article explores the narratives of Chinese migrant older parents and addresses how the interplay between familism and neoliberalism, as structural forces behind older parents migrating to reside with their adult children, influences their perceptions of intergenerational relationships in the context of internal migration in China. Adopting the intergenerational ambivalence perspective, this study thus analyzes the connections between participants’ lived experiences and the structural forces and processes. The empirical data are drawn from 16 semi-structured interviews with 10 migrant older parents in Shenzhen. Through narrative and thematic analyzes, three main areas of intergenerational ambivalence are identified, which were expressed through how they talk about: (1) their adult children; (2) the childcare work they provided; (3) their expectation about filial care. These narratives highlight a strong focus on the younger generation’s socioeconomic success, with older parents inscribing themselves the role of supporting them to achieve this goal. This entails a change in the norms that regulate intergenerational relationships in contrast to the traditional direction of obligation around filial piety. Furthermore, the analysis demonstrates that the intergenerational ambivalences experienced by migrant older parents are created by their unfavourable positions across two incompatible systems: the neoliberal state-capitalist economy and unchanged family-based welfare/care regime.

KEYWORDS:

• Intergenerational ambivalences
• familism
• neoliberalism
• Chinese internal migration
• grandparenting

Introduction

Large-scale and high-frequency human mobility in the form of mass internal migration has occurred for more than 40 years in China. The recent census reveals that the internal migrant population has reached 376 million, accounting for 41.6% of the urban population in China (National Bureau of Statistics, 2021). This mass migration consists of rural – urban and urban – urban migrations, with a high percentage of the migrant population concentrated in large cities. Although the younger generation often migrates to follow jobs or pursue careers, older people migrate mainly for family reasons, most notably to take care of the younger generation and/or satisfy their age-related care needs (Li & Gan, 2017; Li & Huang, 2018). The Chinese term ‘sui qian lao ren’ (随迁老人), translated as ‘migrant older parents,’ refers to those older people who move to reside with their adult children. There were around 18 million older migrants in China in 2016, among whom 43% migrated to care for grandchildren and 23% to reunite the family and receive age-related care (National Population and Family Planning Commission, 2017). There are thus around 12 million migrant older parents in China.

Behind the migration of older parents are two interrelated cultural imperatives. The first is familism, a central feature of Chinese culture, under which the family holds a central position at both the societal and the individual levels and is prioritized over self. For example, an ideal for a happy elderhood is traditionally illustrated as being surrounded by one’s children and grandchildren. This ideal, which is expressed in several Chinese idioms such as 儿孙承欢膝下 (children and grandchildren stay with the elders in order to make them happy), 天伦之乐 (the happiness of family unions), and 儿孙满堂 (be blessed with many children and grandchildren), is also built on the Confucius norm of filial piety in guiding family relations in China (Ikels, 2004). There is thus a cultural expectation that older parents should live with or close to their children and grandchildren. Familism also serves as a cultural foundation for social and welfare policies in the form of family-based welfare/care regimes under which family members are expected to provide each other with primary care and support (Zhao & Huang, 2021). The family-related reasons that older parents migrate are closely associated with the different care needs within the family, most notably those of the grandchildren and of themselves. In China, adult children are obligated to provide their parents with old age care. This is not only a legal obligation, but also a cultural norm closely related to filial piety. As for childcare, for example, statutory maternity leave in China is 98 days, up to a maximum of 4 months (State Council of PR China, 2012), while the average age for enrolling a child in kindergarten is approximately 3 years. Grandparents, particularly grandmothers often step in to bridge this care gap.

Closely related to the institutional arrangements of welfare and care is the second cultural imperative: neoliberalism. Neoliberalism refers to a form of capitalism that is characterized by retrenchment of the welfare state and an increased role of the state in preserving market competition (Morningstar, 2020). It is deeply entrenched in societies to embrace ideology, economic philosophy, policymaking and governance. China’s relation to Neoliberalism as a mode of economic governance is both contested and contradictory (Weber, 2020). However, neoliberalism has no doubt conditioned the development of the market economy in China, which requires the free mobility of labour. Consequently, it has triggered mass internal migration, most notably – but not exclusively – the rural – urban migration of low-cost labour (Li, 2004). It is also argued that neoliberalism has also created a cultural modus of valuing socioeconomic success and the individualized pursuit of one’s career (Hoffman, 2010). This cultural modus has also played an important role in upholding China’s mass internal migration of both young people migrating for jobs and upward class mobility and older people migrating to stay with their adult children. For migrant older parents, the initial migrants were their adult children, who migrated to large cities to find better jobs or enhance their careers. Therefore, the migration of migrant older parents can be regarded as a continuation of the large-scale internal labour migration framed in a neoliberal economy and culture.

The cultural and structural forces of familism and neoliberalism have thus jointly shaped the phenomenon of older parents migrating to the cities in which their adult children now reside. However, how these forces influence older parents’ perceptions of intergenerational relationships in the context of migration and care remains underexplored. To bridge this gap in the body of knowledge, this article aims to explore this question by analyzing the findings of 16 semi-structured interviews with migrant older parents in Shenzhen, China. Both familism and neoliberalism are macro-level concepts that are intricately interwoven with diverse social, political, and economic structures. To address the research question, this study focuses specifically on the normative aspects of familism and neoliberalism in shaping agency, narratives and meaning constructions. More concretely, it applies the sociological perspective of intergenerational ambivalence (Connidis 2015; Connidis & McMullin, 2002; Lüscher & Pillemer, 1998) and explores whether and how the interplay between familism and neoliberalism generates contrasting or contradictory expectations, desires, feelings, and perceptions among migrant older parents about their relationships with their adult children. By answering these questions, this study aims to contribute to two scholarly discussions: the changing intergenerational relationships in the context of Chinese internal migration and relationship between familism and neoliberalism in shaping individual experiences of care and family relations.

Background

Intergenerational relationships, mass internal migration, and neo-familism in China

Studies of intergenerational relationships in China have focused on intergenerational support, which is closely related to the dominant role that the family traditionally plays in providing care and support. According to the well-known Chinese sociologist Fei Xiaotong (1985), intergenerational relationships in China have been characterized by a feedback model or mutual nurture support model: first, parents nurture their young children and then their children, when growing up, in a feedback loop, provide support and care to their older parents. This model contrasts with the relay model in western industrialized societies, which does not emphasize such a feedback loop from adult children to older parents (see also Li et al., 2015). Although some scholars analyze the mutual nurture support model as a type of intergenerational exchange (Du, 1990; Xiong, 1998), other researchers emphasize the cultural aspects of the model, particularly the younger generation’s obligations to their older parents in a collectivist family culture (Yang & He, 2004; Zhang, 1999), which centres on the notion of filial piety.

However, rapid economic development and a series of social processes including the influences of the one-child policy (starting in late 1970s) have changed not only family structures but also family relationships. These changes have been discussed in light of Yan’s (2016, 2018) theorization of descending familism, also called neo-familism. Descending familism entails intergenerational solidarity that builds on intimacy and flexible forms of family structure, where the focus and meaning of life flow downward to the grandchildren. In particular, the emergence of intergenerational intimacy, in the forms of increased communication and sharing of emotions, is considered as a breakthrough from the traditional Chinese family culture, where intimacy was often suppressed to maintain the hierarchy and parental authority. Consequently, the notion of filial piety is no longer based on the submission and absolute obedience of the younger generation (Yan, 2016; see also Obendiek, 2017; Zhao & Huang, 2018; Zhong & Li, 2017). Neo-familism is a further theorization of descending familism, which also includes the notion of sacrificing the small self for the realization of the greater self, with a concrete, affective and materialistic goal (Yan, 2018).

Concerning the intergenerational relationship between older parents and adult children, there is increased assistance and support from the former to the latter, most notably by them providing childcare and economic support (Yan, 2015, 2016; Yang, 2012; Zhao & Huang, 2018, 2021; Zhong & Li, 2017). Although care is often a gendered practice, some recent studies also demonstrate the participation of grandfathers in childcare, yet to a lesser extent than grandmothers (Du et al., 2019; Zhao & Huang, 2021). There is thus a mutual reliance on care arrangements under which adult children rely on their older parents for childcare, whereas older parents depend on their adult children for care as they age (Zhang & Wu, 2007; Zhao & Huang, 2021). Zhong and Li (2017) perceive parents’ increased support for the younger generation as a type of investment to secure future age-related care because they no longer take their children’s filial piety for granted.

However, the extent to which mass internal migration, such as the migration of adult children in China, changes intergenerational relations and family practices remains understudied. How do these changes mirror and/or differ from the general changes captured in Yan’s neo-familism? Existing studies of migration and intergenerational relationships have largely examined rural–urban migration, with the focus on skipped-generation households of left-behind older people and children in rural areas (i.e. rural migrant workers leaving their children behind in villages for grandparents to care for; Guo et al., 2013; Zhao et al., 2021). These studies, on the one hand, demonstrate that rural–urban migration has strengthened adult children’s dependence on the support of their older parents, which mirrors the general trend of the increased provision of parental support to the younger generation. On the other hand, skipped-generation households have not only altered traditional intergenerational patterns, but also obstructed the intergenerational intimacy between older parents and adult children, which is indicated by the increased risk to left-behind older people’s mental health, including caregiver burden and parental stress.

This mass internal migration has not only created skipped-generation households with left-behind older people and children, but also resulted in the migration of older parents from both urban and rural areas to reside with their adult children. This phenomenon has received little attention in studies of family and internal migration in China. The creation of skipped-generation households and migration of older parents can be understood as different strategies taken by families to address the care deficiency resulting from adult children’s migration. Such strategies are based on the resources available within the family, most notably the financial resources of adult children. In contrast to rural migrant workers, who are usually hired in unstable and low-paid jobs with few entitlements to labour rights and local welfare in cities, most of the children of migrant older parents have settled in cities and occupy stable jobs with regular incomes. Moreover, they are often well educated and can access local welfare systems because they have registered their households in the city in which they now reside. Hence, this study contributes to the literature by focusing on the narratives of migrant older parents from families with higher social strata than those of rural migrant workers to explore changes in intergenerational relationships in the context of Chinese internal migration.

Neoliberalism, (neo)familism, and intergenerational relationships and care

Globally, there have been discussions on the extent to which neoliberalism has altered family structures and practices in societies with a strong tradition of familism (Berkovitch & Manor, 2023; Kim, 2016; Takeda, 2008) as well as on the relations among familism, individualism, and neoliberalism in shaping both the political and the intimate moral economies (Berkovitch & Manor, 2023; Brecher, 2012; Garrett et al., 2016). Although scholars have critically examined how familism facilitates or has become an integral part of neoliberal economies by bridging the care deficit resulting from neoliberal policies and labour market practices (Berkovitch & Manor, 2023; Dowling, 2020; Fraser, 2016), such studies demonstrate that the conflicting values of neoliberalism and familism have created tensions and frictions in people’s lived experiences in various social and cultural contexts. In the Chinese context, Yan’s neo-familism and studies of changes in intergenerational relationships (as discussed in the previous subsection) provide important insights into the influences of neoliberalism on families. However, the possible frictions between familism and neoliberalism are underdiscussed. In this article, I argue that the migration of older parents as a social phenomenon is shaped by both familism and neoliberalism. Therefore, the narratives of migrant older parents provide a fruitful perspective to shed light on how the interplay between familism and neoliberalism works at the individual level to shape their expectations and perceptions of the intergenerational relationship. I answer this question by analyzing the findings from intergenerational ambivalence narratives.

Sociological perspective of intergenerational ambivalence

Research on older parent–adult child relationships has increasingly focused on the coexistence of and interplay between the positive and negative aspects of intergenerational bonds. The intergenerational ambivalence perspective thus recognizes that ambivalence is a fundamental characteristic of intergenerational relations, whereas solidarity and conflicts are possible outcomes of negotiations of ambivalences (Connidis & McMullin, 2002; Lüscher & Pillemer, 1998). From the analytical perspective, it builds on the concept of sociological ambivalence (Coser, 1956; Merton, 1976). In contrast to the psychological perspective, which focuses on individuals’ opposing/paradoxical perceptions, psychological states, and emotions, the sociological focus on ambivalence concerns whether and how certain social structures generate ambivalent experiences (Lüscher, 2004; Park, 2014). Earlier sociologists such as Coser (1956) and Merton and Barber (1963) argued that what makes people exposed to ambivalent situations is not their personality, but rather their social positions, more concretely the ‘incompatible normative expectations of attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors assigned to a status (i.e. a social position) or to a set of statuses in a society’ (Merton, 1976, p. 6).

Later, the sociological perspective of ambivalence was introduced to family relationship studies, particularly intergenerational relationships, to go beyond the dichotomy of the solidarity and conflict perspectives in family studies and bridge family and aging theories (Connidis & McMullin, 2002; Lüscher & Pillemer, 1998). According to Connidis (2015), the analytical potential of the intergenerational ambivalence perspective lies in its multilevel treatment of ambivalence, which allows the analysis to move from the individual level (i.e. how individuals experience opposing feelings, emotions, and sentiments in a concrete relationship) to the structural level, addressing how these subjective experiences of ambivalence are socially and institutionally created. For example, whereas Lüscher and Pillemer (1998) demonstrate how the experienced ambivalence in family relationships is related to contradictions in institutional resources and requirements, Connidis and McMullin (2002) argue it is created by structural forces but manifested in families’ everyday social interactions. Meanwhile, how individuals experience and negotiate these contradictions is intricately connected to the ways that social life is organized and structured (Connidis, 2015).

I adopt the sociological perspective of intergenerational ambivalence because of this multilevel analytical approach, as I aim to explore how the structural forces of neoliberalism and (neo)familism together influence migrant older parents’ perceptions of intergenerational relationships. More concretely, I first explore how migrant older parents articulate intergenerational ambivalences in the context of internal migration and then address how these narratives are created by the interplay between the structural forces of neoliberalism and (neo)familism.

Research context and methods

The empirical base for this study is taken from an earlier explorative study of migrant older parents’ lived experiences of intergenerational care arrangements in China (Zhao & Huang, 2018, 2021). The present research draws its qualitative data from 16 semi-structured interviews with 10 migrant older parents who moved to Shenzhen to reside with their adult children. Shenzhen, on the central coast of the South Guangdong province bordering Hong Kong, is one of the most important economic centres in China, with a population of around 12.6 million (World Population Review, 2021). It is also characterized as a migrant city because of its history of developing from a fishing town with a population of 332,900 in 1980 (Zhang & Qi, 2006) to China’s first special economic zone shortly after Deng Xiaoping’s introduction of the country’s economic reform and opening up policy. This drastic population growth reflects the pattern of China’s mass internal migration that started during the 1980s. This includes a high increase in older migrants in recent years, most of whom move to help the younger generation with childcare (Li & Huang, 2018; Zhao & Huang, 2021). As a financial and economic centre based on high-tech industry, Shenzhen has become an attractive destination for young migrants, particularly those highly educated and seeking better career opportunities and/or a more westernized lifestyle.

The participants were recruited from a residential community that has a high proportion of migrant older parents. Ten participants were recruited through the community service centre and the snowball sampling technique: six women and four men. All the participants are aged in their 60s (or around that age), had moved from other provinces, and had lived in Shenzhen continuously for at least six months. An overview of the participants’ sociodemographic background can be found in Table 1. The number of participants was decided based on the point of data saturation, which was operationalized in line with the research questions as well as the theoretical and analytical approaches adopted (Saunders et al., 2018). In practice, this entailed a balance of searching for various narratives on the intergenerational relationship, care, and migration stories with the analytical need for coherence with a focus on common patterns. To achieve variety of narratives, both male and female, rural and urban, single-child and non-single-child parents, and both maternal and paternal grandparents¹ are included in the sample.

Table 1. Participants’ sociodemographic backgrounds.

No.	Pseudonym	Age (first interview)	Original household type	Home province	Occupation before retirement	Years living in Shenzhen (first interview)	Residency of spouse	Number/gender of children
1	Grandma Sun	65	Urban	Henan	Administrative staff member	10	Shenzhen	One son
2	Grandma Yi	69	Urban	Shandong	Factory worker	10	Widowed	One son
3	Grandpa He	67	Urban	Zhejiang	Teacher	5	Shenzhen	One daughter
4	Grandma Zhu	58	Rural	Heilongjiang	Peasant/housewife	3	Hometown	One son and one daughter
5	Grandpa Wang	61	Urban	Jiangxi	Barber/owner of a barbershop	7	Shenzhen	One son
6	Grandma Jin	63	Urban	Shandong	Small convenience store manager	9	Hometown	One son
7	Grandma Li	68	Rural	Hunan	Peasant/housewife	6	Hometown	Two sons
8	Grandpa Fan	64	Rural	Hebei	Car mechanic	4	Shenzhen	One daughter
9	Grandma Wu	63	Urban	Hunan	Chef	6	Hometown	One son
10	Grandpa Zhou	67	Urban	Heilongjiang	Banker	5	Shenzhen	One son

The data were collected in two rounds, the first in late 2015 and early 2016 when eight participants were recruited and interviewed. In this round of interviews, the focus was on how the decision to move was made and their post-migration life experiences. The second round took place two years later to further explore a dilemma which was remarkable from the first-round interviews that most participants face, namely, whether to stay in Shenzhen or return home. This round of interviews focused on how the participants talked about the stay/return dilemma in relation to their post-migration experiences, expectations of the younger generation, and own age-related care needs. Six of the eight participants were interviewed again; of the other two, one had returned home due to illness and the other did not respond to our inquiry. To compensate for the missing data (one participant owned and lived in a separate apartment in Shenzhen and the other had other care obligations within the family), two more participants were recruited and interviewed. When interviewing these two informants, we incorporated the research focus from the first round of interviews. Each interview lasted around one hour and took place at the participants’ homes. Ethical approval was granted by NSD – Norwegian Center for Research Data (Project no. 50541 and no. 824243). Anonymity and discretion were secured as a condition of data access. All the participants provided informed consent.

The prominent stay/return dilemma in the interview data largely concerns older parents’ ambivalent perceptions of intergenerational relationships when facing different normative expectations and the institutional constraints of social realities. Therefore, both rounds of interview data provide empirical material to explore how individuals’ perceptions of intergenerational relationships are influenced by the structural forces of familism and neoliberalism that conditioned their decision to move.

The analysis of intergenerational ambivalences was divided into two stages: (1) how the participants articulated intergenerational ambivalences and (2) how these articulations were embedded in neoliberalism and familism as the structural forces behind mass internal migration in China. To capture the articulations of these ambivalences, the narrative analysis focused not only on the ‘told’ (i.e. what was said by the participants), but also on the ‘telling’ (i.e. the interactive and sequential order of how the interviews as narrative events developed; Mishler, 1986; Riessman, 2008). Narrative analysis was preferred to thematic analysis because the ambivalences participants articulated throughout both rounds of interviews were often expressed through intertwined topics such as the decision to move to Shenzhen, expectations of the younger generation both before and after migration, grandparenting, their own needs, and future plans. Hence, three common narratives were developed (see the next section) to demonstrate how intergenerational ambivalences were articulated in the data. Then, thematic analysis was applied in the second-stage analysis, moving the analytical focus to the structural level, to understand how these three narratives were connected to the norms and ideologies related to familism and neoliberalism.

Results and analysis

Narrative 1: adult children are very busy, but capable

In all the interviews, the participants complained, to some extent, about the younger generation being too occupied with their careers and having little time for their parents. Grandma Jin described a lack of communication and spending time together:

They are always busy with their work, and the fact is that I barely see them, not to mention communicate … They usually come home late. Sometimes it is so late that I have already gone to bed. Sometimes they come home earlier, but they are tired after a long day, so I just help them cook some food. Then the next day, they get up later than I do. I usually walk Xiaobao [grandson] to the kindergarten after breakfast, and then go to the market to shop for food. Very often when I come back, they have already left for work. So there is no time for communication … It is also difficult to know what they are thinking. My daughter-in-law used to stare at her mobile when she was home. We do not have a common language … 

This description by Grandma Jin is representative. Several of the participants said there was barely any time to meet their children face-to-face and that they had to communicate with them via WeChat [Chinese social media], such as asking when they will be home and what they want to eat for dinner as well as checking the grandchildren’s activity schedules. Grandma Yi also complained about the lack of communication with her son, comparing it with the time before she moved to Shenzhen. She said that she felt even lonelier despite the fact she and her son now lived under the same roof. Before her migration, her son ‘at least’ would visit and stay with her once or twice a year when he had long vacations. All these complaining narratives point to a clear expectation that the younger generation should provide more company and communication. Several of the participants related this expectation to the Chinese norm of filial piety and said, ‘Company is the best filial act’.

However, intertwined with these complaints was also a trace of pride. I first noticed it when a couple of the participants referred to a Chinese buzzword ‘ken lao zu’ (啃老族) meaning ‘elderly-devouring young adults,’ when referring to the intergenerational relationship. For example, Grandpa Fan, after complaining about his lack of social life in Shenzhen, said:

… So life is boring in Shenzhen. We have nothing to do other than center [our lives] around the children and grandchildren. There are many older parents like us in this neighborhood, from different parts of the country. But what can we expect from them? They work hard to achieve a better future for their children and themselves. As parents, we have no reason not to help them. I have read about “ken lao zu,” those who lived a dependent life on their older parents … 

First, Grandpa Fan’s use of ‘we’ changed from referring to only himself and his wife to a collective ‘we’ that included many other migrant older parents in a similar situation. Hence, ‘what can we expect from them?’ and ‘as parents, we have no reason not to help them’ are collective narratives. Second, such collective narratives point to the other expectations of their adult children (i.e. having a successful career and a better future).

Chinese communication is considered as highly context-dependent, implicit, and face-directed in style (Fang, 2014; Hall, 1976). Chinese people, particularly older people, are traditionally conscious of saving face, reserved in displaying emotions, and indirect in communication (Gao et al., 1996). In this context, expressions such as ‘they both work in large companies,’ ‘he is always very busy,’ and ‘he traveled a lot during that period’ within the complaining narratives are an implicit way to explain the children’s success of having managed to achieve a career in Shenzhen, in contrast to the ‘ken lao zu’ who live a dependent life on their older parents. In this way, complaints are not just an expression of negative feelings, but also contain pride, which may easily be overlooked if we ignore the cultural codes. The complaints are therefore an articulation of intergenerational ambivalences as a result of incompatible normative expectations (Connidis & McMullin, 2002; Merton, 1976).

Noticeably, those participants who came from rural areas seemed to complain less and have more parental pride than those who migrated from urban areas, which can be explained by their experience of significantly greater upward social mobility. For example, Grandma Li., when asked whether she was satisfied with her current life in Shenzhen, said:

I lived in the countryside all my life. I had little schooling, and don’t know so much, but my son is very capable. He is educated, and now he has managed to settle in Shenzhen. The relatives and friends in our village admire us. But I know it is not easy to live in a large city. My son is very busy all the time. Mortgage, car loan, he has a lot of pressure. So I do not expect much. The only thing I expect is to help him and make his life easier.

That Grandma Li’s son had a college education and settled in Shenzhen was perceived as a great act of upward social mobility and achievement, not only for himself but also for the whole family. Nevertheless, Grandma Li’s narrative is also representative of all the participants in that older parents’ decision to move and stay is driven by intergenerational solidarity, which is both functional (in terms of practical help with childcare and housework) and emotional (e.g. parental pride and the willingness to help and sacrifice) when the younger generation’s career development is perceived as a common goal across generations.

Narrative 2: childcare is hard work, but provides a sense of accomplishment

Another articulation of intergenerational ambivalence can be found in how the participants talked about how they cared for their adult children. These grandparents all moved to Shenzhen to help with childcare on the birth of a grandchild. Although some were more willing to move than others, they shared the dominant narrative that childcare was hard and demanding. For those who felt that they lacked a choice, childcare was described as an obligation. For example, Grandpa Wang said:

I have one son, so I do not have a choice. My daughter-in-law fell pregnant shortly after they married. My son wanted us to come and take care of her and later the baby. The parents of my daughter-in-law could not come because they were taking care of their son’s baby. We also discussed hiring a nanny, at our expense, but my son worried about safety issues. After all, you do not feel assured letting a stranger take care of your baby. Finally, we decided to come … we had no other expectations. I came to finish my mission. It was like switching duties, off-duty [retirement] in my hometown and then on-duty in Shenzhen.

This narrative demonstrates the underlying norm of supporting (grand)parents, particularly in providing childcare: the grandparents should take care of the newborn grandchild. This norm may be related to traditional grandparenting norms in China and East Asia. Nevertheless, there is also a vital difference here. Although traditional grandparenting norms were based on the Confucian notion of filial piety (Ko & Hank, 2014; Silverstein et al., 2006), which centres on the adult children’s obligation toward and obedience of their older parents (Yan, 2016), the norm of parents providing childcare points to an obligation in a reverse direction, from older parents toward adult children. Helping with childcare becomes a ‘mission’ that grandparents must fulfil. The one-child policy seemed to have strengthened this norm, as the message from the grandparent is ‘we only have one child: if we do not help him, who else shall we help?’

For grandparents, meeting childcare obligations can come with sacrifices. Grandma Jin also called herself ‘grandma on duty,’ a duty she fulfilled at the cost of being separated from her husband who had stayed at home because of health issues. Although expressing great concern for her husband, who also needed her support and care, she described the duty of childcare as consisting of ‘24 h a day and all services.’ The prioritization of the duty to help the younger generation with childcare over other duties (e.g. helping one’s spouse) mirrors a central point in neo-familism in China (Yan, 2016): the focus and meaning of life flow downward to younger generations, particularly the grandchildren.

Although some of the participants were more willing to move at the time of migration, they also complained about the workload of childcare. Being a widow, Grandma Yi considered moving close to her only son to help with childcare as the best arrangement for both the child and her. She considered herself as the best person to provide childcare because of her close blood tie to the baby. Additionally, moving to her son secured her future need for age-related care. She referred to the Chinese proverb of ‘bearing and rearing a son for one’s old age’ (养儿防老) to justify her expectation of filial care and said that moving to be with her son was a ‘matter of time.’ However, after staying in Shenzhen for 10 years, she described childcare as ‘more than a full-time job’:

Unlike many others who have their spouses around to help, I had to do all the work myself. Especially when my grandson was small, like two or three years old, I felt very exhausted. The boy was very active, I had to keep an eye on him all the time … . Even when the child had his naps, I could not rest because I had dinners to cook and clothes to wash … . This was more than a full-time job and it was never-ending. Last year, his parents enrolled him in different classes like drawing and English. They do not have time to take him to these classes, so I have to do it … .

Grandma Yi described childcare (and housework) as trivial but tiring and never-ending, a common narrative among the participants, which also reveals an ‘intense childcare-culture’ as a consequence of China’s one child-policy (Zhang et al., 2020). However, two more aspects in this quote are also representative. The first is the major responsibility associated with childcare, particularly related to safety issues. The second is the new demands in bringing up a child, such as the increasing focus on early childhood education and after-school programmes. Grandpa Wang also mentioned his experience of accompanying his grandchild to a tutoring class, the teacher of which demanded that the parents/grandparents participate in the class and take notes to help the child afterward. He complained, ‘To be honest, this is too much for me. … I think that parents should spend time with their child, instead of paying for these classes.’ This complaint illustrates a shared attitude among grandparents that parents cannot transfer all responsibilities around childcare and upbringing to grandparents. Through the complaining, the grandparents also expressed implicitly that they were bearing too many responsibilities.

However, the participants sometimes expressed understanding toward their adult children and unconditional love toward the third generation. For example, Grandma Jin, who ironically called herself ‘Grandma on duty,’ also said:

Taking care of a small child is hard work, but this is what we should do. Young people are busy with their careers, so we seniors are their backing. Whose family is not like this nowadays? … Last time, I went home for a relative’s wedding. I planned to stay at home for some days. But the little one [grandson] cried and cried. He never was away from me this long [laughing/smiling] … So I had to come back the day after.

Grandma Jin was proud when explaining how dependent her grandson had become on her. In this quote, helping with childcare was first narrated as a norm, something she or her generation should do. Yet, the norm was less an obligation; rather, her provision of support was driven by her understanding of her children’s busy lives and how dependent adult children in China have become on their older parents’ help as well as out of parental and grandparental love.

Grandpa Wang expressed his pride in helping more clearly. When explaining his son’s recent promotion, he said, ‘Sometimes we feel happy that we could help, a sense of achievement. Then, we also feel we are still young!’ Here, the pride of being able to help is expressed as a sense of accomplishment, which is also linked to the younger generation’s career development. Through his help and contribution to childcare, Grandpa Wang confirmed his value. In this way, complaints about the hard work are another way of saying, ‘Look, the younger generation is so dependent on our help!’ Like the other participants, Grandpa Wang also discussed his close tie with his grandchild. He said, ‘Sometimes, we also want to go home. Things are expensive in Shenzhen; the air quality is not good either. But each time we have returned home, very shortly after, we have started to miss our grandson’ [smiling and shaking head].

Narrative 3: I have no expectations, or how much can I expect?

The last narrative identified how the participants discussed their expectations of and future plans for age-related care, particularly the expectation of filial care from their adult children. One interesting finding was that when directly asked about this, all the participants except one said, ‘I have no expectations. I came to help and I will return when they no longer need my help.’ Or, ‘I do not expect much. The only thing I expect is to help him and make his life easier.’ The only participant who explicitly discussed the expectation of filial care was the widowed Grandma Yi, who, as quoted earlier, used the saying ‘bearing and rearing a son for one’s old age’ to justify her expectation of filial care.

It seems that these older parents were reluctant to discuss their own needs and expectations, at least explicitly. This reluctance may again mirror the strong norm of being supportive parents, as discussed earlier. However, this could also be explained by an expression of self in a Confucius-influenced collectivist culture, where a social-oriented self with an emphasis on helping each other and groups such as families is more important than an individual-oriented self or self-actualization (Sun, 2017; Triandis, 1995). In this context, focusing on personal needs and premises can be perceived as selfish or egoistic (Triandis, 1995). For example, several of the participants, when asked whether they expected their son or daughter to go back to take care of them if they returned and fell ill, answered no. One of them said, ‘I know he would be too busy to come. This would also affect his work and family life. How can I be so selfish?!’

However, this narrative of ‘no expectations’ cannot be interpreted literally. For example, by complaining about the younger generation being too busy, the participants expected more company from their adult children. For their future age-related care, several expressed that the ideal would be that they live close to their adult children, yet not under the same roof. Having a separate household and their own space seemed important for most of the participants. This raised the question of the family’s ability to afford secondary housing, particularly the economic state of the younger generation. Among the 10 participants, only two had their ‘own’ apartment in Shenzhen, although both turned out to be co-financed by both generations. Here, the older generation used their life savings for the down-payment (e.g. by selling the apartment in their hometown), whereas the younger generation paid the loan. The economic status of the older generation is thus also significant in this regard. Facing increasingly high housing prices, some of the participants regarded the purchase of a separate apartment as a concrete family goal, whereas others, particularly those from rural areas, considered such a purchase to be unrealistic. For example, while Grandma Zhu was in Shenzhen helping her younger son, her husband chose to stay in his hometown helping their older son. As such, she described her return/stay dilemma:

As parents, we look at the children’s needs. If they still need us, we will certainly continue to help them. Then, I’ll have to stay in Shenzhen and he [her husband] will stay at home [sigh]. It’s not easy for young people in Shenzhen. Look at the apartment—it is too small. There is no room for another person. In addition, one more person means more expenses. They talked about buying an apartment, but prices are rising all the time. Too much pressure! So I think I will return home one day.

Grandma Zhu emphasized that the children’s needs, instead of her own, directed her future plans. Yet, she implicitly expressed her emotional need to reunite with her husband and a need for autonomy (e.g. more space of her own). Meanwhile, like several of the other participants, she pointed out that it was difficult for the younger generation to live in Shenzhen considering the financial pressure. In these narratives, the older parents showed great understanding of the younger generation in contrast to the complaints. Hence, it was not that these older parents had no expectations, but more about how much they could expect from the younger generation in reality. This points to another common point shared by the participants: the fear of becoming a burden. Grandpa Wang clearly expressed this fear:

In fact, if they do not consider us troublesome, of course, we would stay. This is the best. But sometimes I am worried that we would become a burden for him instead of helping him. But he said, ‘Don’t worry, mum and dad! Soon we will be able to buy a second apartment. I will buy one in the same neighborhood for the convenience of taking care of you.’ He is really a filial son.

Being the parent of a single child, Grandpa Wang was even more dependent on the child in Shenzhen for his future age-related care. Meanwhile, older parents perceived the younger generation’s economic and career situation and this made them hesitate to expect too much. The expressed fear of becoming a burden may point to the feeling of dependence several of the participants experienced after they moved into their child’s household. For example, they used the Chinese idiom ‘寄人篱下,’ which literally means ‘lowering oneself to live within another’s fence,’ to describe the feeling of lost autonomy.

The fear of being a burden was also reflected in how Grandpa Wang described his son as filial. Despite the complaints, most of the participants, like Grandpa Wang, described their child as filial. For Grandpa Wang, whether the child was filial or not was judged by his intention or will, not necessarily what he does. A similar example was Grandma Yi, who considered her son regularly giving her ‘pocket money’ as filial. She said, ‘Even though I don’t need the money, I still feel happy because it shows his filial piety to me.’ Again, the question of the child being filial or not was judged according to the needs of the older parents, but, in this case, a will or a symbolic gesture. This can be explained by the argument that older parents do not expect much because of their awareness of the younger generation’s situation as migrants, who have more economic challenges to become established and who migrated to pursue career and socioeconomic success (which provides little room for caring for older parents).

Structural forces of intergenerational ambivalences: frictions between (neo)familism and neoliberalism

Thus far, I have analyzed how the intergenerational ambivalences were articulated in the interviews. In particular, I have identified the ambivalences in three main narratives: (1) Adult children are very busy, but capable, in which the participants’ complaints about the younger generation’s overfocus on careers are intertwined with parental pride; (2) Childcare is hard work, but provides a sense of accomplishment, where their complaints about the heavy workload and responsibility entailed in childcare go hand in hand with unconditional parental and grandparental love, a sense of accomplishment, and having their values confirmed; and (3) I have no expectations, or how much can I expect? In this third narrative, the participants’ expectations of filial care are mixed with a fear of becoming a burden for the younger generation. In these narratives, they expressed both negative feelings (e.g. dissatisfaction and worry) and positive feelings (e.g. parental pride, understanding, satisfaction with the intimate tie to the grandchildren). The remaining question is whether and how these articulations of intergenerational ambivalences are conditioned by the interplay between familism and neoliberalism.

All these narratives on intergenerational ambivalences describe the tensions that older parents experience when situated in different cultural norms. On the one hand, they are still influenced by Confucian family norms and consider filial piety and support from adult children to be an important aspect of intergenerational relationships. As shown in Narrative 1, this applies particularly in terms of emotional care and support in form of company from the younger generation. On the other hand, the perception of what is considered as being filial is changing, a finding also shown in previous studies (e.g. Eklund, 2018; Santos & Harrell, 2017; Yan, 2016). For example, some studies (Yan, 2016; Zhong & Li, 2017) demonstrate that filial piety no longer requires the submission and unconditional obedience of the younger generation. Fong (2004) also discusses how the cultural discourse on filial piety was deployed by young Chinese people as their great motivation for pursuing academic and socioeconomic achievement. My analysis illustrates that migration in the neoliberal context of pursuing socioeconomic success has changed older parents’ perceptions of filial piety. Although providing frequent company and communication was perceived as the best filial act, children’s filiality may not necessarily be judged by what they actually do to meet their older parents’ material or emotional needs; rather, it could be judged based on their will or even a symbolic gesture, such as the plan to purchase another apartment and giving ‘pocket money’ as shown in my data. This is particularly the case when older parents recognize the limited time and energy of younger generations that have migrated.

This somehow contradictory perception of filiality may point to a major tension that older parents experience in their relationships with the younger generation: whereas aged-related care in China is still framed in a family-based welfare/care regime with familism as its foundation (Zhao & Huang, 2021), the older parents of those who chose to migrate and pursue upward social mobility dare not expect much from the younger generation and even fear becoming a burden (Narrative 3), which could destroy the younger generation’s career and socioeconomic achievement. In addition to their restrained expectations, older parents feel a strong sense of obligation to support the younger generation (Narrative 2 and 3), in contrast to the traditional direction of obligation under intergenerational norms. This obligation is accompanied by the parental pride about the children’s socioeconomic achievement (Narrative 1) and sense of self-accomplishment of being able to help (Narrative 2).

All these factors point to a cross-generational focus on the young generation’s socioeconomic success and career development, a goal that is for both the younger generation and the older generation. This cross-generational focus is clearly related to the new cultural norms shaped by neoliberalism. For example, Hoffman (2010), addressing the post-Mao socialist governmentality under the influence of neoliberalism, describes a ‘patriotic professionalism,’ which shows how new forms of the state-capitalist economy in China have created possibilities for social mobilization and a new cultural modus of crafting talent and self-actualization among the younger generation. This process has also been strengthened by the effects of the one-child policy, behind which lies the state’s strategy to cultivate a high-quality workforce with adequate resources and ambitions to join the globalized capitalist economy (Fong, 2004). In this context, older parents’ support for their children’s socioeconomic success, first through investment in their education (e.g. Fong, 2004; Lin, 2019) and then as shown in my study, by helping with childcare, is regarded as an important mission of the parent generation, even when considering the cost of sacrifice (e.g. loneliness, long-term separation with the spouse). The upward social mobility of both individuals and their families entails the geographic mobility of human capital, not only in the form of the mass labour migration of the younger generation but also in the form of the migration of older parents.

Although older parents migrating to reside with their adult children in cities can be argued to be providing a better care arrangement than skipped-generation households in villages in the context of internal migration, the uncertainty migrant older parents expressed about their own futures mirrors the similar tension experienced by left-behind older parents (Guo et al., 2013; Zhao et al., 2021). Not least, the stay/return dilemma (in Narrative 3), which is related to displacement from their homes, and different care needs (e.g. grandchildren, spouse, their own) and obligations within the family highlight the friction between neoliberalism and familism on the lived experience. According to the sociological perspective, people experience ambivalence not because of their characters but owing to their social positions (Coser, 1956; Merton, 1976). The intergenerational ambivalence narratives of migrant older parents can thus be understood as the result of them being positioned unfavourably across the two incompatible systems of the neoliberal state-capitalist economy and family-based welfare/care regime.

The tensions created by the interplay between neoliberalism and familism in countries in which the influence of familism is strong are often described and expounded as conflicting values between individualism and familial collectivism, which is particularly experienced by the younger generation (e.g. Bear & Offer, 2024; Takeda, 2008; Kim, 2016; Song & Ji, 2020). For the older generation, Berkovitch and Manor’s (2023) study of Jewish grandmothers in Israel also illustrates the influence of individualist values such as requesting freedom and autonomy when negotiating grandmotherhood. Although the present study demonstrates that the loss of autonomy and longing for their own space (e.g. importance of having a separate household) were expressed as possible articulations of individualist values, the most significant influence of neoliberalism was how older parents inscribed themselves a role in supporting the younger generation’s career and pursuit of socioeconomic success in the context of Chinese familism. This role, with a reversed direction of obligation between generations, clashes with the norms and expectations of filial piety in both traditional familism and neo-familism, thereby creating the perceived intergenerational ambivalences for migrant older parents.

Conclusion

This study explored how the interplay between familism and neoliberalism, as the structural forces behind the phenomenon of older parents migrating to reside with and help their adult children, influences older parents’ perceptions of intergenerational relationships. In particular, it adopted the sociological perspective of ambivalence and examined the extent to which this interplay creates tensions in the form of contrasting or contradictory expectations, desires, feelings, and perceptions among migrant older parents about their relationships with their adult children. Based on data from semi-structured interviews with migrant older parents in a residential area in Shenzhen, it reconstructed and analyzed three main intergenerational ambivalence narratives: (1) the younger generation is very busy, but capable; (2) childcare is hard work, but provides a sense of accomplishment; and (3) ‘I have no expectations, but how much can I expect?’ The analysis highlighted that older parents’ migration was perceived as part of their mission to help the younger generation with childcare, which entails an intergenerational focus on the younger generation’s career development and socioeconomic success. This finding was discussed in relation to changes in the norms regulating intergenerational relationships, for example, from filiality with an emphasis on the younger generation’s obligation to older parents to the emerged norm of being supportive parents that comprises a reversed direction of perceived obligation. Even the perception of filiality itself, such as the criteria for judging whether the younger generation is filial or not, has been revised accordingly.

Then, I moved the analysis to the structural level, discussing the articulated intergenerational ambivalences in relation to the interplay between the structural forces of (neo)familism and neoliberalism. With the reference to Hoffman’s (2010) discussion of ‘patriotic professionalism’ in China, I demonstrated that the intergenerational focus on the younger generation’s career development and socioeconomic success can be understood as a cultural modus created by the interactions of familism and neoliberalism. In this cultural modus of pursuing socioeconomic success for both the individual and the family, older parents inscribed themselves an irreplaceable role to help the younger generation achieve upward social mobility, which clashes with the norm of filial piety within the value system of familism. The analysis thus illustrated the frictions between familism and neoliberalism in individuals’ lived experiences and highlighted that the intergenerational ambivalences experienced by migrant older parents are created by their unfavourable positions across two incompatible systems: the neoliberal state-capitalist economy that creates a cultural modus for individuals and families to pursue socioeconomic success and a welfare regime under which the responsibility and resources for care still lie heavily on the family.

This study also contributed to two scholarly discussions: the changing family relations in the context of internal migration in China and the relationship between familism and neoliberalism in shaping individual experiences of care and family relations. For the first, the analysis mirrors some of the key points in discussions on Yan’s neoliberalism, such as the changing perceptions of filial piety, importance of intergenerational intimacy, and downward flow of life focus in intergenerational relationships. The migration of older parents for the purpose of grandparenting can be considered as a specific form of Chinese neo-familism. However, my study highlighted the tensions individuals experience in this neo-familist practice, which I describe as the friction between familism and neoliberalism. For the second discussion, the tensions created by the interplay between familism and neoliberalism are often discussed in relation to collisions of conflicting values between familial collectivism and individualism. Although expressions of individualist values can be identified in older parents’ narratives, the presented findings highlighted the cultural modus of the intergenerational focus on the younger generation and the family’s socioeconomic success as well as older parents’ self-inscription of an irreplaceable role in helping them achieve this goal. The tensions and dilemmas migrant older parents experience indicate a strong need for changes to social policies on migration and aging.

Limitations and indications for further research

Since this is an explorative research based on a case study in one residential area in Shenzhen, it has some limitations concerning the question of how the interplay of familism and neoliberalism influence older parents’ perceptions of intergenerational relationships in the context of migration and care. As indicated in my analysis, the participants’ socioeconomic background is significant in conditioning their post-migration experience and perceptions, which is also related to the cost of living in the city. Since my informants can be said to belong to the ordinary middle-class, further research is needed to examine the question in relation to other socioeconomic categories and other Chinese cities with relatively lower living costs and less competition. Another limitation is that the analysis focused only on older parents. It would be both interesting and important to examine the younger generation’s perspective of changing intergenerational relationships in the context of internal migration and the influence of the interplay between familism and neoliberalism in individuals’ lived experiences. Meanwhile, with increased global migration, it has also become usual that older parents migrate abroad to reside with their adult children, either temporarily or permanently. The comparison between the contexts of the internal and global migrations would thus strengthen the discussions on these two topics.

Acknowledgments

I am grateful to Jonathan Q. Tritter for his insightful comments on earlier versions of this article.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Additional information

Funding

The author has received a research-talent scholarship from Nord University (Norway) in working with this research project.

Notes

1 As to which grandparents are to provide childcare, this study indicates that it is not always in line with patrilineal norms. Sometimes it can be a result of negotiations between in-law families in relation to other forms of parental support which is also based on different resources (e.g. money, time, energy) each family possesses or is able to deploy (see Zhao & Huang, 2021).