The Magic of Death

Abstract

Death awareness can serve as an awakening experience and act as a powerful spark for significant life changes. The central question is, “How could death awareness and its creative examination transform our fear of death, open a path to liberation and self-empowerment, expand our consciousness, and lead us toward more meaningful, creative, and service-oriented lives?” The premise is that, instead of avoiding the reality of death, there is an opportunity to look into it and examine our fixed ideas and preconceptions about it—focusing on the person’s fear of their death and not on their other fears related to the death and dying of significant others. Furthermore, the article examines death as a catalyst for significant life changes and fear of death, further exploring how death anxiety shows up in our lives, why reducing death denial is essential, how to honor death and all the lessons it teaches us, and how to transform our relationship with our mortality. It examines cross-cultural wisdom and alternative epistemologies that support the transformation of our death, such as spirituality, creativity, consciousness, transpersonal psychology, and Tibetan and Zen Buddhism. Future research would expand on the idea that the transformation of the relationship with death could foster personal growth and intensify connections to Earth and all living beings.

Keywords:

• Consciousness
• death awareness
• fear of death
• relationship with death
• transformation

Introduction

This article is not about terminal illnesses, grief, and dying but about transforming our relationship with our impermanence, so it is more about living an empowered life than death. It aims to refocus our discussions about it, give our mortality different meanings and viewpoints, and provide a distinctive way to address our impermanence. The article focuses on death awareness while engaging an idea of its creative contemplation. The existing literature addresses possibilities for overcoming the fear of death in the context of hospice, palliative medicine, and end-of-life studies. Theoretical research seeks to transform the viewpoints of death and mortality as an essential self-care practice, aiming to positively affect one’s psychological well-being, irrespective of one’s health and age. Moreover, the article suggests that death awareness can serve as an awakening experience and act as a powerful spark for significant life changes, which many scholars have also suggested, such as Cheng (2017), Gurdjieff (1973/2012), Jung (1963/2019, 2009), and Yalom (2008) amongst many others.

Death as a Catalyst for Significant Life Changes

Death, historically a topic of primary social concern, is a critical component of the process of life. There are many extraordinary and transdisciplinary approaches to death and its psychological dimensions of it, focused on the dying process and denial of death (Beck, 2013; Becker, 1973/1997; DeSpelder & Strickland, 1996/2010; Fenwick & Fenwick, 2008; Kastenbaum, 1998/2001; Kübler-Ross, 1969/2005; Moody, 2013; Solomon et al., 2016). Furthermore, death studies beyond the medical context became integral to several academic disciplines, especially the behavioral sciences, such as anthropology, sociology, and psychology. Cultural anthropology and death studies literature are abundant on the denial and the existential fear-related behaviors in the context of terminally ill and dying patients. Kübler-Ross (1969/2005) played an essential role in raising the awareness of death in patients close to death and played a vital role in their peaceful death. Similarly, DeSpelder and Strickland (1996/2010) encouraged a constructive process of self-discovery as a part of the dying process. However, rather than waiting for a diagnosis or late age, there is an opportunity to consider the possibility that wakefulness to death may serve as a profoundly beneficial catalyst for meaningful life changes (Becker, 1973/1997; Yalom, 2008).

Death Awareness

Traditionally, death has been largely a family matter handled within the deceased’s family, as recognized within sociology. The farming cultures integrated it into the fabric of social life and acknowledged it as a matter of unavoidability and the natural order of life. However, the 19th century’s industrialization, urbanization, and modern Western life shifted the management of death and deceased out of the home and into the commercial sphere. Once it became a commercial commodity, intimate familiarity with it faded, and the West became a death-denying society, making death a taboo, thereby guarding it against public attention. However, it was “rediscovered” after World War II, and a new “death awareness” movement surfaced (Bryant, 2003).

Many scholars across disciplines agree that death is psychologically equally as crucial as birth. It is an integral part of life, whether one accepts it or ignores it, and both are equally significant parts of our experience on this planet (Beck, 2013; Becker, 1971; Jung, 1957/1995, 2009, 1963/2019; Yalom, 2008; Yates, 1999). However, many humans are missing an opportunity to embrace the crucial gift of death, which can allow us to be deeply grateful for what has been there all along, as argued by Brown (2015). I see this gift of death as the magic of death, which inspired the title of this article. Life and death disagree only in a mind that constructs a conflict between them, mainly from its longings and fears (Beck, 2013; Becker, 1973/1997). However, both are not in conflict but rather are complementary, being the two fundamental factors of human experience on the Earth (Jung, 1957/1995, 2009; Lief, 2001; May, 1975/1994; Rinpoche, 1994/2002; Yalom, 2008; Yates, 1999)—or in Chopra’s (2022) words both are “parentheses of a storyline we call life” (33:36). Birth the parenthesis of our life story opens up the narrative of our lives, whilst the equally important death closes the life story and act as the perceived end of the storyline.

Welcoming Death with a Peaceful and Untroubled Mind

Dugdale (2021) promotes a theoretical vision encouraging us to awaken to the possibility of death while we are still healthy, which is the goal of this article. Accepting death is at the core of the ancient ars moriendi concept, which gives attention to “the art of dying well by living well,” further saying that we could welcome death with a peaceful and untroubled mind (p. 37). The argument highlights that we could prevent a lonely or fearful life journey and invite a powerfully hopeful one by raising awareness of our mortality and making peace with it (Dugdale, 2021; Fenwick & Fenwick, 2008; Holecek, 2022, Moody, 2015). Similarly, awareness and acceptance of death seem to be the very bedrock of our understanding of life as a whole (Becker, 1973/1997; Coleman & Jinpa, 2005; Yalom, 2008). Death awareness may become an act of waking up, as many argued (Hanh, 1998/2002; Halifax & Ostaseski, 2018), and lead to the lightness of the heart (Franz, 1997), which ancient Egyptians also recognized and valued dearly (see more Coleman & Jinpa, 2005).

Therefore, our relationship with death is essential and was supported by Jong’s (2018) research showing that "fearful thoughts about death can lead us to be more nationalistic, xenophobic, homophobic, ageist, and otherwise petty prejudiced about those different from us" (p. 23). This demonstrates the significance and magnitude of the fear of death and its impact on our behaviors and the ways we relate to each other, our planet and all living beings. Others addressed the same challenges and behaviors caused by existential fear (Becker, 1973/1997; Bryant, 2003; Bryant & Peck, 2009a; Solomon et al., 2016; Yalom, 2008). Correspondingly, Kübler-Ross (1969/2005) encouraged efforts to deal with death-related concepts and anxieties, suggesting that death awareness and acceptance of it could lead us toward less destructiveness—aligning with Montaigne’s view, who argued that death awareness could lead us toward freedom (Cobben, 2012, as cited in Enright, 2008). Similarly, Eastern philosophies and ancient teachings offer an alternative idea about death and align with the notion of death acting as “the muse of philosophy" (Schopenhauer, 1818/1957, as cited in Bryant, 2003, p. 9). Instead of avoiding the reality of death, they suggest looking into it and even embracing it, which aligns with researchers who also suggested examination of our firm ideas and presumptions so that the fear could be transformed (Bryant, 2003; Dugdale, 2021; Franz, 1997; Jung, 1963/2019; Lief, 2001, Yates, 1999).

Fear of Death

Many in the West prefer to exchange a problematic present for a dream of the future—living in fear by ignoring challenging aspects of life, such as death. Historically, the fear of death has been perceived as innate, stating that all of life tends to avoid it and that the underlying terror of death is what drives most human struggles (Becker, 1973/1997). The anthropological, psychoanalytic, and philosophical perspectives offer evidence and rationales that existential fear is a natural response, given all the attempts of biological organisms to preserve life. Death and dying characteristics inform various cultural responses, and such traditional behavior has familial, educational, economic, religious, spiritual, and political implications (Bryant, 2003), resulting in negative relational behaviors, driving superpatriotic, xenophobic, homophobic, ageist, and intolerant approaches to those different from us. The characteristics inform cultural responses that permeate multiple aspects of society further shaping familial dynamics, educational approaches, economic practices, religious and spiritual beliefs, and political policies and regulations. Understanding these cultural implications can provide insights into how different societies navigate and make meaning of the universal experience of death.

Life Satisfaction Depends on Death Awareness

Psychology and consciousness studies literature suggest that the conscious and unconscious aspects of existential fear are relatively independent (Feifel & Hermann, 1973; Loretto & Templer, 1986, as cited in Bryant, 2003; Neimeyer, 1994/2005). Freud (1946, as cited in Bryant, 2003) discussed the dualism of life and death-related instincts, concluding that the ego is worn-out of libido when fear of death arises. To protect itself, the ego attempts to deploy defense mechanisms. Those mechanisms can drive anxiety into the unconscious, and the greater the extent of one’s fears, the more energy one needs to shield against them. Rychlak (1981, as cited in Bryant, 2003) and Santrock (1986, as cited in Bryant, 2003) added that the excessive defenses necessitated by high levels of anxiety compromise the ego, leading to diminished life satisfaction. Instead, as people’s defenses are lifted, they may value their lives more remarkably while becoming more consciously fearful of death (Firestone, 1993, as cited in Bryant, 2003, p. 36).

However, conscious death anxiety may be necessary for our psychological health (Beck, 2013; Servaty & Hayslip 1996, as cited in Bryant, 2003). According to Fromm (1941, as cited in Bryant, 2003), the experience of living loses its meaning if death is disregarded; hence, the denial of death may represent both normal and pathological efforts to find peace with mortality and eventual separation from others. Once we go beyond our fears, we can live an empowered and compassionate life (Rinpoche, 1994/2002; Hanh, 1998/2002). Likewise, many agreed that coping and confronting the existential fear allows us to live a more prosperous, awakened, and compassionate life, while some scholars even perceived death as an advisor (Jung, 1963/2019; Yalom, 2008). Furthermore, Becker (1973/1997) argued that “the idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human animal like nothing else” (p. xvii). Others argued that humans would do anything to avoid the fatality of death by denying it (Solomon et al., 2016).

Fear Does Not Prevent Death—It Prevents Life

The dominant cultural reality in the West teaches us to fear death and avoid conversations about it (Becker, 1971; Kastenbaum, 1976/1992, 1998/2001; Solomon et al., 2016; Yalom, 2008). To battle the fear of death, modern Western society produces a full assortment of diversions that take our minds off it. Momeyer (1988, as cited in Bryant, 2003) discussed how science, psychoanalysis, medicine, and philosophy are all adapted to the ultimate liberation of the individual. More precisely, psychoanalysis pursues a balance of the individual personality by providing the ego with psychological tools to handle the reality of its ultimate mortality; science offers technology to shelter the body against the harshness of nature; medicine endeavors to slow and even cease the natural body’s processes (Conlin, 1988, as cited in Bryant, 2003). The entire assortment of diversions is succeeding in taking our minds off death, preventing us from fully engaging with life. Further blocking many experiences and opportunities for growth aligns with Epicurus’s (as cited in Yalom, 2008) and Mahfouz’s (2001) statement, saying that "Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life" (p. 23).

Moreover, Jung (1957/1995) and Yalom (2008) perceived death as a goal of life—the crowning achievement of an ordinary person’s lifetime. This concept aligns with Buddhism perspectives (Coleman & Jinpa, 2005). However, living every moment wholly aware of death is not easy. Yalom (2008) claims that "it is like trying to stare the sun in the face: you can stand only so much of it" (p. 21), which emphasizes the inherent human limitations in facing certain aspects of existence, suggesting that there are existential depths that may be too intense or overwhelming to confront fully and that individuals have their own thresholds for grappling with such realities. The metaphor highlights the need for self-care, resilience, and a gradual approach when engaging with profound existential questions and the challenges that they bring. Likewise, we cannot live frozen in fear; most of us in the West generate destructive methods to soften that crippling fear. As Plato (as cited in Yalom, 2008) said, "we cannot lie to the deepest part of ourselves, so we can never entirely reduce death anxiety as it is always there lurking in some hidden corners of the mind" (p. 33). This proclamation underscores the idea that death anxiety is an integral part of human existence, always lurking in the hidden recesses of our minds. It further suggests that we cannot wholly eliminate or ignore this anxiety, as it is deeply embedded within us. However, by acknowledging its presence and embracing our authentic selves, we can begin to grapple with this anxiety and find ways to live meaningfully in the face of mortality.

Death as a Social Construct

Sociologist Schultz (1979) argues that the fear of death is not necessarily innate but a learned reaction, which aligns with Vernon (1970), who states that the fear of death results from an individual’s learning experiences and not an internal phenomenon. Transpersonal psychology recognizes that human perception is faulty, and reality is co-created (Ferrer, 2017; Grof, 1985). My extensive travels to over sixty countries, including work and studies on four continents, supported empirical knowledge that the fear of death is not universal—it seems to be a social construct. While death itself is a biological reality, the understanding, interpretation, and meaning ascribed to death are socially constructed and differ across cultures and societies. Recognizing death as a social construct invites us to explore the diverse ways in which different societies navigate and give significance to the experience of mortality. It emphasizes the importance of historical influences, cultural context, and social practices in shaping our interpretation and responses to death. As the root cause of all other fears, the fear of death drives most of our behaviors (Becker, 1973/1997; Bryant & Peck, 2009a; Jong, 2018; Yalom, 2008), highlighting the significance of its transformation.

Jung (as cited in Yates, 1999) had a near-death experience (NDE) and said, “What happens after death is so unspeakably glorious that our imagination and feelings do not suffice to form even an approximate concept of it” (p. 6), which aligns with my NDE, the pivotal and transformative point in my life and my afterlife. The NDE was the ‘touch’ of another reality that played a crucial role in my life journey, paved my ontology, and gave a different meaning to life—allowing me to experience the beauty of non-duality, transcendence, and unitive consciousness. The NDE helped me understand that my worldview comes from more extensive cultural conditioning or, in Tart’s (1986) words, “consensus reality.” I recognize that “there are larger realities within the world than those originally held” (Canty, 2016, p. 31). Arguably, we are architects of our experiences, and as Barrett (2017) observed, emotions are authentic creations of social reality “made possible by human brains in concert with other human brains” (p. 296), emphasizing the interactive nature of emotions, influenced by our interactions with others and shaped by the cultural and social contexts in which we live. Recognizing the social construction of emotions highlights the role of social interaction, shared meaning, and cultural influences in shaping our emotional experiences and understanding. Many realities and perceptions need to be acknowledged in this process of contemplation of death as emotions toward it vary significantly across cultures and religions and are co-created (Ferrer, 2017; Huxley, 1946/2009). Cultures inform us how to feel, which results in the reality we live in.

Cross-Cultural Wisdom

Fear of death is a matter of all religions across the globe, and it is worth recognizing that “all religions attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude” (Yalom, 2008, p. 5). Most religions offer some way of defeating death directly, whether through resurrection, reincarnation, or an afterlife, in an attempt to ease our existential anxiety (Nichols et al., 2018). Furthermore, the human search for meaning is found in the world’s primary traditions, the Abrahamic ones, such as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam; and Indian, including Hinduism, Buddhism, and Sikhism (Vaughan, n.d.). However, the examination of alternative epistemologies that support the decolonization of death for this theoretical research was constrained by spirituality and Tibetan and Zen Buddhism philosophies due to the limitations of this research stage.

Anthropological research of death-related rituals and beliefs shows that not all cultures grasped death as something to be feared (Bryant & Peck, 2009a). However, where death fears do exist, their intensity and form vary noticeably from culture to culture. Further, the impact of death in various cultures varies as some perceive the bigger picture and see it as a part of life (Yalom, 2008; Yates, 1999). Death taken out of context seems to be a devastating event, no matter how and when it happened. If, however, the complexity of life is taken into consideration, we have limitless opportunities to perceive death otherwise. It is undoubtedly a consequential disruption yet is inevitable and universal. However, many are afraid of it, and our existential fear could be understood as a major disconnect—not seeing the whole picture, complexity, or not seeing oneself as a system as a way to understand the complexity and interconnectedness of the world. As such, the systems thinking approach, which involves understanding the interconnections, relationships, and patterns within a system, aligns well with the idea of seeing and accepting all facets of life and encourages examination of the dynamic relationships between its parts, further promoting a holistic perspective that goes beyond reductionism and reductionist thinking (Capra & Luisi, 2014). Does that mean that those cultures worldwide that celebrate death see the entire image and the complexity of life? I acknowledge that I presume they do.

Death as an Object of Meditation

With the premise that death is a social construct, as outlined above, death per se has no meaning other than what people give it, and the collective superego uses both the fear of death and fear of the dead to enforce the rules and preserve social order (Bryant, 2003, p. 5). Likewise, Western concerns and perceptions over uncertainty were examined by various scholars such as Montuori (2014), May (1950/2015), Morin and Postel (2008), and Lotto (2019), which aligns to some degree with Zen Buddhism’s authentic practices. Those practices, called Dharma Seals, address impermanence, no self, and Nirvana—specifically, the first Dharma Seal focuses on impermanence, saying nothing remains the same for even two consecutive moments (Hanh, 1998/2002). Accepting death as a natural process raises our mindfulness of it and can bring us into balance (Salman, 2010). Zen Buddhism encourages us to maintain the insight of impermanence, or of being transformed at every moment, and see it as an object of meditation, arguing that this practice is "the key that opens the door to reality" (Hanh, 1998/2002, pp. 42–47), which would allow us to let go of attachments and expectations, hence, develop a deeper understanding of reality and shift our presence in the here and now, helping us to see interconnected nature of all things. However, in the West, death is portrayed as something of which to be afraid, resulting in popular culture continuously reinforcing its fearful meanings and connotations (Bryant & Peck, 2009b), while the Western commercialization of the meditation ‘practice’ often ignores the contemplation of death as the essential part of meditation.

Conclusion

The fear of death prevents us from seeing the holistic picture of life experience. Potentially, this research could be an insight for those who cannot dispel death fear on their own such as those of us who experienced NDEs. Nonetheless, other ancient wisdom has to be addressed during the next research phase, particularly Taoism, Mexican and Mayan cultures, and Toltec shamanism. Finally, the personification of death (Bryant & Peck, 2009b), Jung’s (1963/2019) analytical psychology, and Grof’s (1985) holotropic model could further inform this attempt to challenge deep assumptions and ideas about our death so that we could potentially intensify our connections to Earth and all living beings while we are still healthy.

Disclosure Statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.