“You Think This is Hard? Just Wait…”: Memorable Messages in Motherhood

Abstract

This study explores the hurtful and helpful memorable messages said to mothers. Ninety-seven mothers completed an open-ended questionnaire, providing examples of their most memorable hurtful and helpful messages related to motherhood. Messages labeled as hurtful critiqued parenting-related decisions or the child’s behavior, typically leading to a strain on the relationship or relationship termination. Helpful memorable messages were recognized as directly supporting parenting decisions or complimenting participants’ children. These messages maintained or improved the relationship with the message source. When talking with mothers, people should engage in high person-centered messages, provide encouragement, and avoid giving unsolicited parenting advice.

Keywords:

• Memorable message
• motherhood
• supportive communication
• unsupportive communication

Disclosure Statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Data Availability Statement

The data that support the findings of this study are available on request from the author. The data are not publicly available due to their containing information that could compromise the privacy of research participants.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Jocelyn M. DeGroot

Jocelyn M. DeGroot (PhD, Ohio University) is a professor in the Department of Applied Communication Studies at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville. Her research interests include mediated communication and communicative issues of death and dying. She also examines dynamic tensions in interpersonal relationships such as MIL/DIL relationships and motherhood.