Military Widows’ Experiences of Social Isolation, Loneliness and Unmet Social Needs

Abstract

Military widow/ers can experience spousal death suddenly and in traumatic circumstances. Evidence shows that this experience often has a long-term effect on surviving family members, highlighting the unique experiences of loneliness and social isolation in the armed forces community. This study aimed to explore military widow/ers’ lived experiences of social isolation and loneliness and unmet needs relating to social participation. This paper presents the qualitative findings of a sequential study in which Phase One utilized an online survey (N = 165) and Phase Two employed semi-structured interviews (N = 26). Almost all participants across both Phases discussed feeling lonely, socially isolated, or both. Findings highlight the complexity in transition from military spouse to military widow/er through the loss of a military community and geographical location. This was further compounded by language barriers and perceived hierarchy (through service life or circumstances of death) which created obstacles to help seeking. However, individuals who did join military widow/ers’ associations valued peer support through shared connection and understanding. Peer support was particularly valued as, for many, existing relationships with friends or family members were often negatively impacted following bereavement. These changed relationships led to feelings of both vulnerability and loss. Consideration needs to be given to how access to appropriate support is gained and what provision needs to be in place. This study recommends the use of more inclusive language for the military bereaved to promote inclusive practices and broaden the availability of support, including that which would increase social participation, across the sector.

Keywords:

• Social isolation
• loneliness
• military widows
• military

Introduction

Loneliness and social isolation are both well-established global issues because of their concerning impact on morbidity and mortality (Caspi et al., 2006; Olsen et al., 1991; Shiovitz-Ezra & Ayalon, 2010; Sugisawa et al., 1994), quality of life (Newman-Norlund et al., 2022; Rumas et al., 2021), stress (Campagne, 2019), and mental health outcomes (Loades et al., 2020; Wang et al., 2018). Issues related to loneliness and social isolation can impact everyone and evidence shows that experiences of loneliness and social isolation are complex and varied.

There has been increased international interest in the role that social isolation and loneliness plays in the lives of the military population over recent years, primarily due to the unique working and living circumstances ascribed to serving in the military or being part of a military family, resulting in both intrinsic and extrinsic factors which affect social experiences (Wilson et al., 2018). In particular, military-related musculoskeletal issues, limb-loss, and mental ill health are all associated with experiences of social isolation and loneliness in the veteran population (Carr et al., 2018; Stein & Tuval-Mashiach, 2015; Wilson et al., 2018). For some, this is compounded by the experience of Armed Forces life and being subject to numerous transitions resulting in a breakdown of established relationships and/or a loss of support networks (Valtorta & Hanratty, 2012; Wilson et al., 2018).

Many of these factors are not unique to the serving person but are experienced by the wider military family, such as geographical mobility and separation through deployment. Existing research has considered the impact of deployment on experiences of social isolation and loneliness of the military family, through cyclical physical and psychological isolation from others (Osborne, 2021). But, despite this and the growing evidence that is available in relation to social isolation amongst the military veteran community and military families, very little attention has been given to social isolation and loneliness in the military bereaved community which encompasses two unique factors that have significance for those who have experienced social isolation and loneliness: widowhood and the military.

A recent scoping review (Johnson et al., 2023) identified limited international evidence of experiences of military widow/ers of social isolation and loneliness. The review also acknowledged a complete lack of global evidence examining social isolation in this population. This indicates a gap in the literature and lack of evidence which is problematic as it is understood that transition periods, such as bereavement, can increase the likelihood of being socially isolated and consequently lonely (Collins, 2014a). Research and bereavement theory that addresses the multi-faceted nature of grief and, in particular, the risk of social isolation is also lacking. In 1969, Kubler-Ross promoted a theoretical model that was based on five stages of grief; shock and denial, anger, resentment and guilt, bargaining, depression and acceptance (Hall, 2014; Kübler-Ross, 2015). Later, in 1990s, the Dual Process Model of Grief was developed by Schut (1999) who described and discussed grief as ‘back and forwards’ between two modes of functioning, emotion-focused coping and problem-focused coping. Worden (1983) suggests that grieving needs to be considered an active process with four key tasks; to accept the reality of loss, process the pain of grief, adjust to life without the deceased and find a connection with the deceased while building a new life. Having a framework to better understand the grief process is useful and can potentially offer conceptual order to what is a complex set of circumstances. However, these models and frameworks do not always capture the unique experiences of individuals or address the impact of changing relationships and social needs together with the loss of support networks.

Bereavement is recognized in this paper and related study as a key life transition that often results in disruption to relationships, financial stability, and reduced access to social support. Particularly, the death of a spouse is one of the most stressful events to occur throughout the lifecourse, and coping with the transition to widowhood can sometimes span several years (Barrett & Schneweis, 1981; Bennett, 1997; Sugarman, 2004). Whilst increased loneliness and social isolation is problematic in bereavement itself, the bereaved military population are in an often distinctive position with regard to the timing of this bereavement, which is often unexpected and the level of complexity within grief might be higher in this population due to the traumatic nature of these military deaths (Cozza et al., 2017; Harrington, 2014; Seamon-Lahiff et al., 2023). Unlike those whose bereavement follows a long period of illness, military widow/ers can experience spousal death suddenly and in traumatic circumstances. Consequently, receiving the news of the death of a loved one related to military service, commonly referred to as ‘the knock on the door’, often has a long-term effect on surviving family members living within the UK. Therefore, this sudden death can lead to a traumatic bereavement that requires immediate, medium, and long-term support (Fadeeva et al., 2023; McGill et al., 2022). These involuntary and unexpected life transitions are more likely to negatively impact effective adaptation and lead to both personal and social disruption (Binstock & Achenbaum, 1996; George, 1993). This further increases the potential risks, and impact of, loneliness and social isolation for this population.

The disruption experienced by untimely and traumatic death may be explained through multiple disenfranchizing components of bereavement, including sexism, heterosexism, and classism, with bereavism being a component in itself (Bindley et al., 2019). Bereavism is defined as (Bindley et al., 2019):

a unique and unequal social status on account of bereavement, which seemed to position individuals differently in the social landscape and appeared to relate to experiences of structural disenfranchisement through interactions with formal systems or institutions, within employment contexts and within social networks (pg.11).

Through adjusting to the loss of their spouse at an unexpected time, experiences of bereavism, and the possible need for geographical relocation through involvement in the military, it is likely that the risk of social isolation and loneliness, through both personal and social disruption, increases for individuals within the military widowed population (Collins, 2014a, 2014b, 2017, 2018). However, there is little known about the experiences of loneliness and/or social isolation in this population and the support (if any) received in response.. To address this gap, this unique research project aimed to explore the lived experience of military widows/ers’ social isolation and loneliness. This paper, encompassing Phase one and Phase two of a wider project (McGill et al., 2022), specifically aimed to:

• Understand military widow/ers’ experiences of social isolation and loneliness

• Identify the unmet needs of military widow/ers with regard to social participation, social isolation, and loneliness

For the purposes of this study, and integral to the findings and recommendations in this paper, the term military widow/er is defined as “the spouse/partner of Armed Forces personnel whose death was in service, attributable to their service (but not necessarily in theater), hastened by service, or related to a disablement attributed to service” (McGill et al., 2022). This broad definition allows inclusion of those military widow/ers who are ineligible for the War Widows’ pension but who have experiences akin to those individuals. This original definition was iteratively developed through collaboration with the research team, the War Widows’ Association of Great Britain, and each of the three single service widows associations¹ within the UK.

Materials and methods

This study is part of a wider project which followed a three-phase explanatory, sequential, mixed-methods design (Creswell & Plano Clark, 2011). The study was situated within pragmatism, a methodology suitable for this applied research which uses the most effective data collection tools from more than one dataset and more than one paradigm (Pelto, 2015). This paper reports on the qualitative components of Phases One and Two of this study. Phase One consisted of a mixed methods (qualitative and quantitative) and mixed mode survey that was disseminated online, and in hard copy (where needed), nationally. The qualitative data within Phase One was collected using open-ended questions within this survey. Findings from the Phase One survey informed semi-structured interviews, carried out in Phase Two. Quantitative findings from Phase One, and findings for Phase Three of this study, are available elsewhere (McGill et al., 2022). Ethical approval was received from [Northumbria University] Ethics Committee (reference number: 26679).

Phase one

Data collection

The online survey was guided by the findings of an international scoping review (Johnson et al., 2023) and included a range of closed and open questions focusing on the following: Demographic information; Life before bereavement and life at present day (e.g. living arrangements, household income); Social connections and experiences of social isolation and loneliness; Access and use of services and support; Impact of COVID-19; and any other comments. A copy of the survey is available elsewhere (McGill et al., 2022). The survey was available between 1 March 2021 and 30 June 2021 via the online survey system, Qualtrics XM platform™.

Recruitment

A total of 214 organizations across the UK were contacted to disseminate study information. This included all military widows’ associations who disseminated information about the study to their members. Social media was also used to raise awareness of the study. Participants were eligible to participate if they met the criteria of a military widow/er stated above and were aged 18 years or over. There were no exclusion criteria based on time since spouse’s death as it was important for this study to understand experiences of loneliness, social isolation, and unmet need over time, from different perspectives. This helped identify differing experiences and needs in the short-term and long-term across the lifespan.

An Information Sheet and Consent Form were integrated into the Qualtrics survey and signed before completion of the survey. If preferred, there was an option to receive a paper copy. Paper copies (including consent forms) were returned to the research team using a stamped-addressed envelope.

In total, 230 surveys were returned. After the removal of blank or partly completed surveys, 165 surveys were included in this study (See Table 1).

Table 1. Demographic details of Phase One participants.

Age (years)	26–96 (Mean = 57.61; SD = 11.82)
Time since bereavement (years)	1–66 (Mean = 15.41; SD = 11.67)
Gender (%)	Female 96.97 Male 3.03
Ethnicity (%)	White/British 97.51 Irish 0.63 White Irish 0.63 Indian 0.63 White/Hispanic 0.63

Phase two

Data collection

Interview schedules were developed using the findings from Phase One and included questions related to: demographic information; bereavement; self-identity; loneliness/social isolation; support services; and technology use. Some of the military widows were also staff/volunteers from relevant organizations. The topic guide for staff/volunteers included additional questions related to the experience of working with military widows/Armed Forces Community, service provision and support offered by their respective organizations, loneliness/social isolation, the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, and technology use. However, whilst these extra questions were posed, the themes presented in this paper focus on individual experiences as opposed to an organizational perspective. Interviews all took place using Zoom or via telephone and lasted between 1–2.5 hours (average 93 minutes). All interviews were audio-recorded and transcribed verbatim.

Recruitment

As in Phase One, organizations, including respective widows’ associations, were asked to share study information, and social media was used to promote this. Additionally, at the end of the Phase One survey, participants were offered the option to contact the research team if they wanted more information about taking part in Phase Two interviews. Inclusion criteria was identical to Phase One.

Participants who wished to proceed with the interview contacted the researcher to arrange a date/time and received a copy of the consent form. Twenty-six participants took part in semi-structured interviews (Table 2). Of these participants, 19 were military widows and seven were staff/volunteers of relevant organizations (6 of whom were also military widows themselves).

Table 2. Demographic details of Phase Two participants.

Age (years)	40–79 (Mean = 60.96; SD = 9.06)
Time since bereavement (years)	4–39 (Mean = 18.63; SD = 9.41)
Gender (%)	Female 100
Ethnicity (%)	White/British 100

Triangulated data analysis

The open-ended questions from the Phase One survey and all qualitative findings from Phase Two were analyzed using reflexive, deductive thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006, 2019). Thematic analysis is a ‘transtheoretical tool’ that aligns with multiple qualitative methodologies (Braun & Clarke, 2022) and a deductive approach to this analysis was chosen due to the nature of the open-ended questions asked within the Phase One survey. These directive questions informed the Phase Two semi-structured interview schedule and formed the basis of the data analysis strategy across both phases. The data was therefore focussed on existing concepts and deductive analysis was most appropriate. NVivo11 software was used to store and manage qualitative data, and four members of the research team [GWM, AJ, MM, TC] analyzed transcripts separately and compared initial codes.

Reflexive discussions occurred throughout the data analysis process across these team members to support theme review and refinement. A key component of reflexivity is acknowledging the role of the researcher, and the influence of their positionality and philosophical underpinnings on the data analysis. One team member [initials redacted for review] has lived experience of military bereavement and therefore brought their own personal perspective to this study. Reflections of personal positioning, and wider reflexivity, was ongoing from study conception through data analysis.

Thematic analysis consists of six steps, of which this study followed: familiarity with the dataset, generating initial codes, developing themes, reviewing, and adapting themes, and finally producing the final product. Initial codes and themes were developed for each dataset separately before reviewing and adapting themes, triangulating this into one dataset.

Results

Themes

Two overarching themes were generated: Change of Identity: Transition and Sense of Belonging, and Discordant Social Needs (Table 3). Each theme has its own sub-themes.

Table 3. Themes generated across Phases One and Two.

Theme	Sub-theme
Change of Identity: Transition and Sense of Belonging	The transition from Military wife to widow
	The impact of labeling
	Geographical relocation
Discordant social needs	Challenging relationships
	Peer support

Change of identity: transition and sense of belonging

There was a clear transition through military widowhood from military wife to military widow. This transition was impaired by the loss of military structure and community and was further complicated through inconsistent labels attached to the military bereaved community. There were stereotypes and ambiguities associated with the use of titles such as War Widow, military widow and association member which impacted both social isolation and loneliness through removing the sense of belonging.

The transition from military wife to widow

Participants reflected on their past life as a ‘military wife’ and the impact of the loss of this identity and the community that was shared during their married life as part of an Armed Forces family. Many individuals spoke about the importance of recognizing the level of dedication to the Armed Forces and Ministry of Defence within the role of a military wife and that service is very often a family commitment.

I do think that War Widows should get recognition [for their dedication to the Armed Forces] for life. [This recognition] has actually seemed to be quite lacking at times (P019, Phase Two)

Not only did individuals feel committed to the military, but often identified with being part of the service.

Because I will always consider myself navy, always, always. Even though I never served myself, you know, you do feel like you are, when you are living the life you feel that you are in the service…(P007, Phase Two)

Contrastingly, participants described feeling as if they had been ‘cut off’, uprooted, and abandoned by the Armed Forces community.

You know the Air Force is for the living and if that person isn’t there anymore […] then really the sooner you were off their radar the better” (P005, Phase Two)

As well as a loss of military connections and associated identity, participants described instances where they felt that bereaved families are forgotten and no longer associated in any way with their spouse’s/significant others military service. Participants described how they felt that, initially, they received recognition, but this gradually decreased as time passed.

I don’t know how they’ll do it, but somehow we’ve got to not be forgotten and again they are very good when your husband dies…I got a letter from the Chaplain in Chief. I got a letter from the Chief of the Defence staff. A letter from the Minister for Defence…you get all these official letters that tell you what a good chap he was and all the rest of it, which is nice at the time, and you keep them and yeah, they’re lovely but then they move on…(P001, Phase Two)

The impact of labeling

The multiple labels used for military widows was seen to be confusing. For some participants, there was confusion regarding what constitutes a ‘War Widow’ and there was often an assumption that this status was reserved for widows whose spouses were killed as a result of conflict. Others noted that whilst they were ‘officially’ classified as a War Widow they were uncomfortable referring to themselves as such.

The reason I don’t say War Widow is because, I mean it is a strange one. I suppose you identify, I always think of War Widow as going back to the world wars (P009, Phase Two)

The issues with labeling military widowhood impacted individuals in multiple ways. Participants felt as though they did not belong to well-established communities and networks, such as the War Widows’ Association of Great Britain. This resulted in a sense of exclusion from the benefits of membership along with feelings of guilt or shame, that left some participants feeling they were not as ‘worthy’ as others.

Participants also felt that stereotypical images of Widows as older women extended to the general population. This compounded the reluctance to join Widows’ associations as well as a reluctance to identify as a Widow/War Widow.

I see them quite distanced from the actual community of Widows because not everyone is 90. And it’s also for the public to change that perception of what a Widow actually is (P008, Phase Two)

Geographical relocation

Participants talked about the impact of losing their own military identity because of bereavement, despite being so closely integrated into military life. This loss of identity was experienced through geographical relocation and loss of military friendships. Participants described feeling fundamentally different and disassociated with military life with some describing feeling unable to relate to the friendships they had developed ‘behind the wire’ as they had relocated.

I felt unique in my circumstances, I didn’t think that anyone else would understand my situation. I felt isolated from my military friends, and I had only just moved into my new home when my husband was killed in action, so I had not established many new friendships. (P107, Phase One)

It was also difficult for participants who felt a loss of sense of belonging as everyone else was married. This changed friendships as invitations to social occasions were reduced.

…it was quite hard being in the married quarters when you’re the only one suddenly that’s single. Everybody else is married…suddenly you, you’re used to being invited as a couple and then for a few months you get invited on your own and then suddenly, you know, you are not invited then…(P018, Phase Two)

For some participants, there was a sense of loss associated with support networks and social connections following relocation:

More support when you leave the military network [is needed]. I had to move from Germany to stay with relatives until I moved into a council house near my parents. I found it very hard to fit in, as civilian life is so different to service life. (P104, Phase One)

Discordant social needs

Participants experienced changes to their social status which impacted on romantic, family and friendship connections relationships. Participants felt lonely and/or socially isolated as a result. In response, it was felt that peer support was an important mechanism to help individuals both immediately after bereavement and in the longer term.

Challenging relationships

Participants felt that bereavement had impacted on their ability to ‘move on’. This was underpinned by a worry that the same, traumatic event, would happen again and, for some, this concern resulted in mental ill health.

I married a fireman and I constantly panic if he is late home and doesn’t phone me…I constantly think I will lose him too. (P054, Phase One)

My depression and anxiety has made me very ill over the years not being able to get close to anyone and build any trust or bonds…leading me to breakdowns and suicidal attempts. (P125, Phase One)

Participants described feeling vulnerable related to a lack of trust that impacted their ability to form new, romantic relationships.

I had one relationship with a narcissistic individual who preyed on the fact I was a vulnerable widow. (P036, Phase One)

There were also financial implications that participants felt were an important aspect of their reluctance to form romantic relationships.

7yr relationship not living together because of rules [of losing my pension] back then and had a daughter…unable to afford to get married relationship broke up. (P125, Phase One)

Following the loss of their partner, participants discussed the difficulties experienced when fostering new relationships and the changes to existing familial relationships and friendships.

An already difficult relationship with my in-laws became much more difficult and eventually became non-existent; they blamed me for my husband’s death totally irrationally. (P041, Phase One)

Adapting to new relationships was complex and many relationships, with both family and friends, were irrevocably altered. Respondents described struggling with how they felt they were perceived by others, i.e. romantically available, and therefore a threat to their friends and family members’ relationships. More generally, some participants felt that attitudes toward them changed with their status from a married woman to a single woman.

I was once called a scarlet woman by somebody’s mother-in-law…see if you got on with somebody and seemed a bit friendly” (P019, Phase Two)

Participants reported feeling judged when they began to consider the prospect of developing new relationships.

The absolute judgement they get. Well that means you’ve forgotten, that means you’re over it then. No, it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten that person at all (P008, Phase Two)

Furthermore, it was felt that the rhetoric of support and friendship was not always followed through to reality.

People say ‘call if you need anything’ but they can’t handle death so actually avoid calls or you at any opportunity. Death needs to be talked about more. (P155, Phase One)

Participants felt they had lost access to emotional support, such as formal peer networks, and financial support because of changing relationships with friends and family.

I also shut off to a couple of friends, really close friends, even now to this day, […] I just needed them to kind of be normal, if there is such a thing (P009, Phase Two)

Peer support

Participants noted the value of peer support throughout the interviews and it was evident, that for many, the shared lived experience was invaluable.

I think because I have now met them and because I can now talk freely about my first husband, with no, you know, embarrassment, no nothing and people will listen and tell you their stories. Whereas the, my civilian mates don’t do that anymore. So yeah, the military widows is a different friendship altogether and you don’t realise how beneficial that is until you find it (P001, Phase Two)

Peer support was mainly found to come from membership of military bereavement groups. The sense of familiarity through peer support allowed some individuals to ‘let [their] guard down’, (P117). There was a strong sense that military-related grief was something that could not be understood by other nonmilitary bereaved individuals.

My own military widows’ charity has provided me with much fellowship, laughter and tears, everyone willing to share the journey and thus being inspirational to my own journey. (P059, Phase One)

For some participants, the connections made within the formal peer support networks led to more informal social networks over time. This was seen as important in terms of long-term support, together with support from friends and families.

Whilst many participants felt that those with lived experience understood them in a way that those bereaved outside of the military would not understand, respect for one another was not always evident, particularly around the circumstances of death.

I think some of our families have found that when they’ve gone to support groups that are generic. Say it’s for parents, for example, and if they then say, well my son took his own life, they have left that support group because of the utter ignorance of other people saying, yeah, but my son, he died with honour (P008, Phase Two)

Dying in theater was described by P008 as being perceived as dying with ‘honour’, as opposed to death through suicide. It was felt that this judgment, based on circumstances of death was a perceived hierarchy and impacted on participants perception of access to support as well as eligibility.

As a widow of a veteran, I felt left out of the military family […] I think that some support for those who may feel they are not entitled to be a 'war widow’ [is needed]. (P031, Phase One)

Even for those whose partners died in service, individuals perceived further hierarchy through the cause of death, as well as age or relationship status.

There is a young Widows and Widowers association, club, whatever…I looked at it and I thought, oh that sounds good and then I thought, oh I am too old” (P011, Phase Two)

Further difficulties arose regarding provision of support across points in time. For some, it was felt that support organizations were not there for them at the beginning of the grief journey.

…I have never heard from [name of association] since I have been bereaved- 23 years ago. I was given a leaflet at the time, but the telephone number was wrong. I contacted the [association] some years ago, but they never contacted me. (P022, Phase One)

There were also perceptions of unequal access geographically which resulted in some participants describing positive experiences where local services were available and well resourced. However, for others, barriers existed such as lack of funding and resources resulting in a lack of appropriate support.

I think at the moment, we’re divided into 60 regions, and I think there is now about half of them don’t have a regional organiser. So half of the members are disadvantaged […] So I think perhaps we could manage the, our regions better (P007, Phase Two)

Discussion

This study aimed to explore the lived experience of social isolation and loneliness, and unmet needs, within the military widow/ers population. Study findings highlight the, arguably unique, identity reconstruction that occurs through transition from ‘military spouse’ to ‘military widow/er’. Other empirical evidence has documented the accompanying social dissatisfaction with this shifting identity from ‘wife’ to ‘widow’ within the wider population (Stroebe et al., 2006). Within this community, the changing identity was multifaceted and impacted social experiences through changes to a dramatic shift in military identity, as well as their married identity, and the complex language attached to military widowhood. Language was one of the most prevalent barriers identified through this transition.

It was largely agreed that the terminology used to describe a bereaved spouse or significant other needs to be all-encompassing and more broadly accepted. The use of the term military widow/er was preferred to War Widow/er. This was largely because there were varying degrees of understanding as to what the term War Widow/er constituted, and as a result, this term largely alienated those who do not identify as an individual who is bereaved because of the theater of war. The impact of this lack of sense of belonging had a detrimental effect of participants and created barriers to accessing support and connecting socially with other military widow/ers, supporting other international literature (McCullough et al., 2023; Seamon-Lahiff et al., 2023).

Social, financial, and emotional support is an important factor following a loved one’s death (Scott et al., 2007). This support, where available, acted as a protective factor for participants coming to terms with their grief. This support sometimes came from friends and family, as well as peer support groups, as also evidenced within (McCullough et al., 2023). However, for many, sudden death and resultant trauma caused disruption to existing relationships with friends and families, and whilst peer support was valued, these formal support services following military death was often not easy to navigate.

Further to this, it was felt that there was a hierarchical response from peers and services related to the nature of death and this acted as a barrier to joining associations and accessing social support services. These issues compounded feelings of social disconnect with the loss of military networks, often through relocation, and loss of familiarity with the Armed Forces way of life. Many of the issues raised related to both fostering, maintaining, and ending relationships, either by choice or through stressors/circumstances outside of their control. Participants described how this disruption reshaped their connections with support networks and led to vulnerability and isolation (Johnson et al., 2023; McGill. et al., 2022). Research examining sudden loss through suicide, unrelated to the military, found individuals grieving sudden ‘unnatural’ death and sudden ‘natural’ death shared many commonalities relating to stigma and the attached social awkwardness which cause individuals significant distress (Pitman et al., 2016). For military families, sudden death within theater or during training accidents may not be unusual, however, the stigma of suicide persists even within this cohort, impacting relationships and perceptions of support available.

Findings from this study mirror findings within the military veteran population (Wilson et al., 2018), in that both intrinsic factors (i.e. feelings of changing identity, feelings attached the hierarchy of death) and extrinsic factors (i.e. geographical relocation, financial instability, availability of support) impacted experiences of social isolation and loneliness. The study shows similarities of experiences between these two communities, particularly in terms of geographical relocation, the loss of, and shifting experiences within, the military community, and changing social relationships (Collins, 2014a, 2014b, 2017, 2018; McCullough et al., 2023; Valtorta & Hanratty, 2012; Wilson et al., 2018) but also highlights the unique needs of this community through bereavement. The study highlighted the vulnerability of military widow/ers and their families, through bereavism (Bindley et al., 2019), and its impact on social status and positionality of each individual, reaffirming the notion that the ongoing grief processes, affected by re-marriage and loss of relationships and friendships, is largely ignored in relation to care pathways and support. These feelings of disenfranchisement were experienced through poor interactions and support from the military, particularly through feelings of abandonment and a lack of recognition for their commitment to the military, as well as feelings of disenfranchisement from formal support services through a lack of belonging.

The sample within this study included individuals who had been bereaved from 1–66 years. This was a strength of the study as it illustrates the continuity of these problems to the present day. There were little differences experienced between those bereaved across the time span, indicating that this feeling was ongoing and has not changed through policy change. Instead, differences were seen within an individual, across their lifespan, depending upon their need. The kind of challenges individuals face differ from person to person and can change over time, presenting the need for holistic, individual transitional support across the lifecourse. It can be argued that accessible and inclusive support is required from multiple institutions across an individual’s life following death of a military spouse, such as the military (after death and through transitions of bereavement) and formal support services (related to the military or otherwise) over a longer time period. Another study carried out in the USA reported that, whilst all military widows involved in the study received support from the military, this was inequitable and differed from person to person (McCullough et al., 2023). Consistent support, communication, and signposting are fundamental to these processes and mechanisms as each challenge faced requires access to resources to adapt and overcome both in the short-term and long-term (Fadeeva et al., 2023; McGill. et al., 2022) and this cannot necessarily be provided by one institution. Furthermore, it is critical that individuals do not feel marginalized from this support through feelings of inequity or hierarchy, as it is clear from this study that this heightens feelings of isolation. Often these resources were not available for individuals at the right time, or in the right place. These resources need to match the challenges to avert the risk of social isolation and loneliness.

Limitations

As of 31st March 2023, there were 10,583 (10,534 women, 49 men) individuals in receipt of a War Widows Pension, and of these >99% were female and 87% were 65 years + (Ministry of Defence, 2023). Whilst the sample reflects the population of military widows across the UK, and those who are members of the military widows’ associations, the research team recognize that it is limited by its sample who were predominantly female, white, and heterosexual. This study was unable to recruit a more representative sample (e.g. Widowers or LGBTQ+) and therefore limits the generalizability of the research findings and recommendations. The risk of gender bias toward female-orientated research with the military bereaved population, and research focussing on social isolation and loneliness, limits some of the findings and this needs to be considered with interpretation and the development of future research. There may also be some bias in responses based on the data collection techniques used. Whilst the survey used in Phase One was developed using evidence from a systematic narrative review (Johnson et al., 2023), asked individuals to add in anything else that they wished to contribute, and Phase Two was semi-structured in nature, the questions in the survey were directive, and data was analyzed deductively based on these questions. Therefore, there may be areas of military widows’ experiences that were not captured, or areas of focus that may not have been discussed if semi-structured interviews were carried out initially.

Recommendations

Findings of this study show that, whilst relevant to the current configuration of widows’ associations, the term War Widow/er was often confusing and unrelatable. More broadly, the term military bereaved (including military veterans themselves who have been bereaved) has the potential to reflect an openness toward differences in relationship to the deceased, as well as sexual orientation and gender identity. Inclusive language can help reflect an openness to creating a safe, neutral space for everyone to feel welcome. The purpose of using an inclusive term, such as military widow/er or military bereaved, is intended to raise awareness and understanding of the bereaved individuals in a way that promotes cultural competence and should become a term that is familiar to those who work in the field of military studies and those who deliver services. Doing so could avoid disparities and improve access to appropriate support.

It is also recommended that a strategy is implemented which facilitates conversations where the bereaved spouse actively participates in exploring their own health and wellbeing needs, within the context of their whole life and family situation. This would promote a person-centred, needs-led approach which is lifelong, taking into account the ever-changing context of grief, and particularly that related to the military. For example, considering geographical relocation and financial implications.

Finally, this research highlights the dominance of female, white, heterosexual participants in relation to transferability of findings. There is also an over-reliance on recruitment from respective War Widow/ers’ and/or single service widow/ers’ associations that may well lead to research fatigue as well as constraints leading to a lack of evidence of lived experience from within the military bereaved population more broadly. Future participant recruitment strategies for this population are recommended to consider those who are seldom heard and do not currently benefit from association membership.

Conclusion

The project aimed to understand experiences of social isolation and loneliness and to identify unmet needs. This qualitative research has strengthened the evidence that suggests that sudden and traumatic deaths often lead to complex and problematic bereavement (Cozza et al., 2017; Fadeeva et al., 2023), particularly with regards to feelings of social isolation and loneliness.

The transition to ‘military widow’ was complex and experiences were influenced by the use of language and perceived hierarchy of death. Difficulties with this transition were further compounded by changing relationships, geographical relocation, and financial instability. It was clear that coping with the loss of the military community and changing social networks, along with feelings of vulnerability when entering new relationships following bereavement was often helped by access to peer support networks. However, this support was often difficult to navigate. For some participants, this resulted in delay accessing support networks, while others described existing social hierarchies derived from the nature of their significant other’s death. Consideration needs to be given to how access to appropriate support is gained and what provision needs to be in place.

Acknowledgments

We would like to thank all those who participated in this study. This project could not have happened without the support of the participants who gave their time and contributed to this valuable research. We would also like to extend our thanks to our Steering Group members, whose valuable insight and support helped to guide this research project. The Steering Group was comprised of representatives from military widows’ Associations (The War Widows’ Association, Royal Navy and Royal Marine Widows’ Association, Army Widows’ Association, and Royal Airforce Widows’ Association) and Forces in Mind Trust (FiMT).

Data availability statement

The participants of this study did not give written consent for their data to be shared publicly, so due to the sensitive nature of the research supporting data is not available.

Disclosure statement

There are no relevant financial or non-financial competing interests to report.

Note

Additional information

Funding

This work was supported by the The Forces In Mind Trust under Grant [number FiMT19/0325NU]

Notes on contributors

G. Wilson-Menzfeld

Dr G. Wilson-Menzfeld is a Chartered Health Psychologist and Associate Professor in Aging and Digital Living at Northumbria University, UK. Dr Wilson-Menzfeld’s academic interests include: Aging and psycho-social well-being, digital inclusion, social participation, loneliness and social isolation, and digital health.

G. McGill

Dr G. McGill is employed as an Assistant Professor in Health Policy and Research at Northumbria University and is the Co-Director of the Veterans and Military Families Research Hub. Prior to working at the Northumbria, Gill worked in Public Health as a Commissioning Manager.

M. Moreland

M. Moreland MBE was a research assistant and is now a PhD candidate with the Northern Hub for Veterans and Military Families Research at Northumbria University. With lived experience as a Veteran and War Widow, Mary’s academic interests focus on the military bereaved community.

T. Collins

Dr T. Collins is a registered Occupational Therapist with practice experience in the UK and USA, predominantly working with older people in the community. Tracy’s research has focused on social capital, later life widowhood, community engagement, living well with dementia and the prevention of loneliness and social isolation.

G. Erfani

Dr G. Erfani is a research fellow at Northumbria University working with Dr Gemma Wilson-Menzfeld on digital poverty in North Tyneside. Prior to this role, Goran worked as an associate lecturer and research fellow at the Newcastle Business School. Dr Erfani completed a PhD at the University of Newcastle in 2018 in the field of Urban Studies and Planning.

A. Johnson

Dr A. Johnson is a professional researcher with experience completing mixed methods (qualitative and quantitative) research projects. She completed her PhD in Social Work in 2020. Following this, Dr Johnson has worked as Senior Research Assistant at Northumbria University.

Notes

1 Single Service Widows’ Associations consist of Royal Navy and Royal Marine (RNRM) Widows’ Association, Army Widows’ Association, and Royal Air Force (RAF) Widows’ Association respectively.