Grief in later life: symbolic losses and unsolicited gains following the death of a same-gender partner

ABSTRACT

Existing literature has identified that the death of a partner in later life is often accompanied by changes in the personal circumstances of the bereaved. However, the consequences following the death of a same-gender partner have attracted limited research attention. The present study aimed to investigate the consequent changes caused by the death of a same-gender partner in later life. Six gay men and four lesbians who had lost a same-gender partner shared their experiences during semi-structured interviews at two stages. Participants’ ages ranged between 56 and 82 years and they all resided in Australia. We used Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis to identify common themes in the interview data. Symbolic losses were the first common theme. In addition to the physical loss of their partners, participants grieved the loss of their relationship status, sense of power and control and friendship networks. The second theme concerned the unsolicited gains they acquired through the experience of bereavement. The positive changes that participants reported included personal growth, new meanings, unique opportunities and mental respite strategies. The contrasting identified themes highlight the range of changes experienced by bereaved same-gender partners. Further research into the impact of grief on subsequent relationships is warranted.

KEYWORDS:

• Grief
• older age
• same-gender partners
• symbolic losses
• gains

Disclosure statement

No financial interests or benefits have arisen from the direct applications of this research.

Data availability statement

The data that support the findings of this study are available on reasonable request from the corresponding author. The data are not publicly available due to their containing information that could compromise the privacy of research participants.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Lefteris Patlamazoglou

Lefteris Patlamazoglou, PhD, is a counselling psychologist and lecturer in the School of Educational Psychology and Counselling, Faculty of Education at Monash University, Australia. His research and teaching focus on the wellbeing of young people and adults of diverse genders, sexes, and sexualities, and experiences of grief and loss. In his counselling practice, Lefteris has worked with clients with a variety of mental health issues, court-ordered parents and their children, and individuals and couples pursuing artificial reproductive treatment. [email protected] https://orcid.org/0000-0003-2514-8362

Janette Graetz Simmonds

Janette Graetz Simmonds, PhD, is a clinical and counselling psychologist, an adjunct senior lecturer in the School of Educational Psychology and Counselling, Faculty of Education at Monash University, Australia, and a psychoanalytic psychotherapist and group analyst. Her publications and research interests include diversity sensitive psychotherapy, spirituality and personal meaning making, psychotherapeutic processes, psychological benefits and processes of the creative and performing arts, and animal and nature assisted psychotherapy. [email protected]https://orcid.org/0000-0003-0259-4095

Tristan Leslie Snell

Tristan Leslie Snell, PhD, is a counselling psychologist and senior lecturer in the School of Psychology, Faculty of Health at Deakin University, Australia. In his counselling practice he specialises in men’s mental health issues. His research interests and publications include a range of topics related to mental health, counselling, and the impact of the environment on well-being and learning. [email protected]https://orcid.org/0000-0001-7337-8299